


Hold me in your arms again

by plikki



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Post-Hawk Moth Defeat, Post-Reveal Pre-Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:15:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29329923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plikki/pseuds/plikki
Summary: Even when he wins, Adrien feels like he's lost everything. He tries to deal on his own, but he needs her, his lady.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 23
Kudos: 153





	Hold me in your arms again

**Author's Note:**

> A song made me sad again because it just whispered "Adrien" to me and well, here you are. 
> 
> I take a deep breath every time I pass your door  
> I know you're there but I can't see you anymore  
> And that's the reason you're in the dark  
> I've been a stranger ever since we fell apart  
> I feel so out of sea  
> Watch my eyes are filled with fear  
> Tell me do you feel the same  
> Hold me in your arms again
> 
> I need your love  
> I need your time  
> When everything's wrong  
> You make it right  
> I feel so high  
> I go alive  
> I need to be free with you tonight  
> I need your love
> 
> (Calvin Harris ft. Ellie Goulding - I need your love)

In all the time they’d been trying to find Hawk Moth and take his Miraculous, Adrien had never considered the possibility that winning might mean losing as well. 

He’d lost his father that day in the sense that he could never trust him again and even the small hope within him that they could someday have a normal relationship was extinguished. The realisation that it was over, that his insane ideas to repair the damage caused in the past would never come to fruition, left a shell of a man.

Adrien couldn’t think of a worse punishment for him although he believed that he had to pay for his misdeeds. His lady agreed. They hadn’t had time to discuss it but he saw it in her eyes. She could have called the police, she could have handed over his father as a terrorist and he wouldn’t have stopped her, but she hadn’t done it. 

He knew that it was partly because she wanted to spare him being in the spotlight as the son of a villain, the turmoil his life would become. But she wouldn’t have done it if she wasn’t sure it was the right thing, not even for him now that she knew who he was.

Adrien had lost his father but he’d also lost someone a lot more precious in his eyes. The only person who had made him feel like he belonged, that he was good for something, that he was cherished. He’d lost his partner and this was what hurt the most.

With no villain to torture Paris, there was no need for Ladybug and Chat Noir. She didn’t need him anymore. It was this that left him helpless, untethered, lost. If she didn’t need him, what was the point in anything?

He, on the other hand, had never needed her more. He wanted to feel the confidence only she could give him again. He wanted to feel the elation of winning another fight beside her as her partner. 

She’d told him a while ago to never leave her again. But here they were, separated. Did she even think of him now that she didn’t need his help?

He knew he wasn’t being fair to Marinette. She wasn’t a shallow person. He knew she cared about him as a friend, she’d told him so many times. But still he couldn’t help feeling useless and unwanted. 

It was just his luck that it was summer and they had no school. He couldn’t even hope to catch a glimpse of her in class, to feel her presence even for a little while. He passed by her house when he was driven to school for his fencing training, his poor attempt at keeping the semblance of a normal life when his father totally lost interest in him, and knowing she was there and yet felt so far away only added to his pain.

Plagg urged him to go to her, to talk to her, to let her tell him how she felt instead of assuming she didn’t want him there. But Adrien didn’t want to intrude. This was her chance at a normal life, no longer disrupted by superhero responsibilities. He wanted her to be free and happy, not feel sorry for him. He could give her that even if it meant feeling the way he did. 

He was left to his own devices, his bodyguard the only normal presence in his life, while Nathalie slowly recovered from the damage done by the peacock Miraculous. Yes, he finally had an explanation for her mysterious illness and it hurt almost as much as his father’s betrayal. She could barely look him in the eye now that she knew that she’d been fighting against him all this time. 

With his father wrapped up in his depressive bubble, Adrien had to take care of himself. He wondered when it would become too much and someone would notice the cracks in the facade he’d managed to put up. He could act as an adult but he wasn’t. 

He longed to feel the freedom his Miraculous gave him and when dealing with reality became too much, he sought it. Just once, he told himself. One last time. But running and feeling the wind in his hair didn’t bring the usual comfort. It was no longer enough. He didn’t need just this, he needed her.

So it was no surprise when his feet led him there on their own. He knew he had to stay away but when he saw her on her balcony, something in him broke. She saw him and beckoned him over and he didn’t have the strength to resist. 

“I’m sorry, m’lady,” he said when he landed next to her. She didn’t say anything, but her lip trembled and in the next second he was in her arms. This was the last drop. He crumpled, only barely managing to hold onto her as tears fell from his eyes. 

“You’re here, you’re finally here,” she whispered, pulling back a little to look at him after a while, her eyes also wet. “I was waiting for you.”

“I-I thought you wouldn’t want to see me,” he said, wiping his cheeks. She looked at him in complete shock. 

“Why would you think so? Of course I do! I wanted to give you space, but you’re always welcome here, you should know that!”

“I tried to manage on my own, but I can’t. I need you, I need you,” he whispered, tears filling his eyes again. 

“Oh, kitty! You don’t have to deal with this on your own. You have me. I shouldn’t have presumed that I’d be in the way. I should have been there for you, I’m sorry.”

He’d been so afraid that she didn’t really care about him, that she no longer needed him, that the relief he felt threatened to overwhelm him. 

“No, don’t be. You have your life. My mess… it’s mine to deal with.” Her gaze sharpened on him, making him gulp. 

“That’s where you are wrong. You are part of my life. I can’t be happy if you’re not,” she said, her voice stern as if she was reprimanding him for thinking otherwise.

“But you no longer need me as a partner,” he said, confused, stating the obvious.

“But I need you as you! You were always more than a partner to me. You’re my best friend. Also, I-I love you.” 

“You’re my best friend as well,” he told her, feeling her words warm him up. But the blush on her cheeks didn’t make sense. Or the way she laughed at his reply.

“You don’t understand, do you? I  _ love _ you. I just waited too long to tell you.”

“Me?” He asked, gaping at her. It couldn’t be what he thought it meant, right? 

“Yes, you. I was in love with you and you were in love with me and we were both too caught up in our feelings for our alter egos to even notice how close we were already.” She said with a sad smile.

“Huh, that’s not quite true. I always had a thing for Marinette,” he admitted. “but..”

“But couldn’t admit it?” He nodded. It had taken him too long to even realise it.

“Well, I felt the same way. I was in denial for too long,” she replied, blushing again. “But I’d understand if you feel like this is not the time for…”

He kissed her. His self-control was long gone anyway. She’d told him she loved him and she knew how much he loved her, and yet she dared to think that he didn’t want her now, now of all times? There was only one way to show her how wrong she was.

“It’s the perfect time,” he said after that, feeling his own face grow warm at his boldness. She just smiled and pulled him down for another kiss. Ok, maybe she didn’t mind. 

“Now come downstairs, my parents have been waiting for you,” she said when they had to come up for air.

“They have?” 

“I told them everything. I had to. Then I kind of regretted it because I had to physically restrain them from marching to the mansion to check on you,” she said, laughing a little. “They’ve been worried, almost as worried as me.”

“You’re too good to me. All of you,” he said, feeling his heart swell up with love for the girl in his arms and her family. 

“Oh, Adrien. When will you realise that it’s just what you do with people around you? You sneak into our hearts and we have no other choice, we want you to be happy.” 

He kissed her again, a short but firm kiss, as his eyes misted over again. 

“Thank you,” he whispered and then called off his transformation. 

“Let’s go,” she said, taking his hand in hers and leading him into her room. Maybe he’d been wrong. Maybe all that had happened had been for the best and he’d come out stronger. With her, his win was bigger than his loss.


End file.
